I have a serious problem committing to blogging. I start off really well, but after a couple of weeks I fall into the habit of actually living my life instead of recording it. Not that this in itself is a bad thing. It's great to just live my life, but my compulsion to keep track of virtually all things extends into my own personal history, and this is difficult to do if I don't literally keep track of it.
Perhaps my real problem is that I don't know what to write about. There are so many things happening at once in life, and I'm not so sure what is important enough to remember or record. Determining the value of an experience is the sort of thing you figure out long after you've lived through it, and while I can be pretty introspective, I don't have any precognitive abilities.
Though I know there are billions of topics I could write about, I generally feel like my life is pretty boring and uninspiring. I'm not wild and crazy. The only thing I have going for me is that I'm young, but that's offset by my tendency to behave responsibly and react logically. I'm lying. I'm not always so logical and responsible. I rely on emotion just as much as logic, but I know where the line between safety and destruction sits, and I stay on the safe side at least 90% of the time.
I want more. I'm 22 years old and I'd like to have more and feel more and be more than I am at this moment. It's not that I'm utterly miserable, but I'm very much unfulfilled and a little panicked about the future me that doesn't exist yet.
I need to commit to this project of recording and tracking and becoming. So I will.
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